Rich writes:
The last year has, in part, been a journey of rediscovery for me. Finding out what I'm made for and understanding the passions and desires that God has put in my heart. I often think of Eric Liddle in Chariots of Fire, 'when I run I feel God's pleasure'... what makes me feel truly alive? (Ask me if you're interested!)
But yesterday I found out that I didn't get a job that seemed to fit with these things, plus a few prophetic words into the bargain. It came at the end of a hard week in my current job, and after a long wait.
I'd been successful at the paper sift and had a pretty good interview. It felt like God was 'in it'. But I came second overall, and there are no silver medals in a candidate selection process!
So how am I coping? There's always a choice: hold on to the promises God has spoken, however ridiculous it seems, or step back from the edge and cast around for another Comforter. The key for me has been a prophecy given to me a few weeks ago, by someone who knew nothing of my situation. She talked about new horizons and opportunities opening up, God creating the space for me to grow, and transplanting me into a new space. It all fitted so well with the other words I've been given. And of course, it's reassuring that she didn't know me at all. It could only be God.
Perhaps unfortunately, the clinching final line of the prophecy was as follows: 'shaping and sharpening through current circumstances'. Ouch. Failing to get the job felt more like a hammering than a shaping or sharpening, but perhaps I'm not as easy to shape as I thought.
One final thought, regarding God's timing. Waiting is difficult for me because I'm impatient and in this case I also really want to leave my current job. What if it takes another six months?! (It's already been almost a year of waiting.) But then again, my (human) Dad wisely pointed out that Simeon had to wait an awful long time to see God's Messiah (read the story in Luke 2). The Holy Spirit reveals to him that he'll see God's Messiah in his lifetime. And he does, but not as the power-wielding, miracle-performing Healer and Teacher. No, just as a baby in the temple. Who knows how long he'd waited, but he knew it when he saw it, and was full of joy. Why did God make him wait? I don't know, but it's kinda comforting all the same.
Hey Rich
ReplyDeleteI'm having a bit of a crazy day, so sorry if this isn't quite the right thing.
I definately think there are things we have to wait for. There are some big promises I've been waiting for for 7-9 years now. One of them I had to chose to fullfil in 2010, others I still feel are out of my control.
We have to partner with prophesy (or we may miss it), but sometimes that still involves waiting for it to be fullfilled.
That is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from us waiting to be fullfilled ourselves. Jesus did not come so we could WAIT for life in all its fullness.
Even with promises still in the future we can still have intimacy, joy, revelation, adventure and fullfilment today. I'm still working on all that, but I believe it's there for us. We don't need to wait for the most important things.
Some frustrations are good.
I completely get where you're coming from with this. I guess it's part of living in the 'now but not yet', after all, the entirety of creation is waiting in eager anticipation for the children of God to be revealed (Romans 8)!
ReplyDeleteI listened to a really good sermon recently which talked about the difference between simply marvelling at what God says and treasuring it all up in our hearts (a la Mary in Luke 2). An important difference I think.